My (Insane) Journey to Becoming a Writer
I never thought I’d ever be a writer.
As many of my elementary school teachers would attest to, writing was my major weakness throughout a majority of my formative years.
As an ESL (English as second language) learner, educators gave up on me pretty quickly. My writing never compared to that of my peers’; instead, of gleaming praise, I received a whole slew of critical remarks, ones pointing out all of my grammar mistakes, my lifeless storylines, and my flat characters.
Of course, as a kid, I quickly got disheartened and gave up. I mean, why should I be pursuing something that I was destined to fail at anyway? With little guidance on how to develop my skills and how to fix my seemingly glaring writing mistakes, I decided to focus on subjects I actually had a shot at excelling at, STEM.
Writing took the back burner for the majority of my elementary school education. However, little did I know that massive changes were about to transpire once I reached middle school.
When I started middle school, I had just moved from living in Poland for a year, so everyone in school assumed that I had never been to the states before (even though I’m a tried and true Brooklyn gal). And, my Polish name, definitely did not make matters better…
As a result of this, I was pretty much isolated from any friend group. So, there I was, starting in a completely new school, in a completely different region of NYC, with no friends.
To make matters worse, I was berated by one of my English teachers who constantly reminded me that “this isn’t Poland,” so I had better started to get acquainted with how things work here, in America.
As if I needed a reminder of that.
I always stuck out like a sore thumb. I came to despise being a child of immigrant parents and I felt ashamed of myself for not being able to grasp what, to everyone else, seemed like commonplace knowledge.
In any case, as the official outcast, there was one thing I found solace in: books.
Yes, I know. While I sucked at writing, I could read just fine (even though I didn’t always comprehend what I was reading).
During recess, when everyone else was engaged in whatever social activities were popular at that time (gossip, boys, anything else that pre-pubescent girls are interested in???), I was out there, book in hand, reading.
At the time, I didn't know just how much this would help me in improving my writing skills. I only knew that I had to do something other than stare into space questioning the reality of everyone and everything around me…
With every book, I dove into completely new worlds, each completely engrossing me in the delights and events that transpired within them. In a way, these books became my escape from reality. The world around me disappeared as I became privy to the splendors of the literary world.
Surprisingly enough, at that same time, I started to receive compliments for my writing… shocker, I know. I thought that these teachers must be out of their minds. I mean, who was I kidding, I was no writer.
To make matters even more interesting, something else was happening at this time. I was actually growing to like writing?! It was weird for me to process at the time, since I’ve convinced myself that writing is the bane of my existence, the Achille’s heal of my scholarly pursuits. And yet, with every new writing assignment, I started to derive an uncanny amount of pleasure.
It was until high school that my writing reaaallly took off — by this I mean massive improvements that would change the trajectory of my life for years to come.
I was no longer some outlier at the end of the standard bell curve. Nah, I was the best. But, most importantly, writing became the only medium for me to express myself.
Instead of speaking my thoughts (which… ugh I never felt comfortable doing anyway), I’d spend hours upon hours writing in-depth essays on virtually any topic assigned to me, only to have the chance to offer my two cents on any given matter.
As I progressed through high school, AP English allowed me to flourish in writing. Under the guidance of one of my greatest teachers of all time, I was encouraged to pursue a career as a writer.
I was in shock. I never thought I’d hear those words from anyone.
Flash forward to today and I am a writer. Granted, I didn't decide to be an English or creative writing major (though I did apply to college for both of those), but I can confidently say that I can’t imagine my life without writing.
At this point in my life, I know that writing is a passion of mine that will always be near and dear to me. For me, writing has become one of the most profound ways of creatively and authentically expressing myself, so losing it would be like losing a piece of my identity, something that I would not be able to live with.
As I share this story, I hope that it will serve as a beacon of hope and inspiration for others who are struggling to define themselves and their passions.
To close, let me leave you with a few insights that I have gained throughout my writing journey:
- Have faith. Even when people give up on you. Even when they blatantly tell you to get a grip and be realistic about your dreams. Your life is yours to live; you create your reality, no matter what anyone says.
- Keep going. When everything falls apart, you must go forward. Despite the setbacks, know that better days are coming. Look back only to assess how far you’ve come. And you’ve come a long way, comrade.
- Fail often. Failing isn’t something you should be scared of. It’s a natural part of life, and it’s only through our mistakes that we can rise and grow. So, be proud of your mistakes, for they’re where magic is born.
- Explore the full gamut of your potential and talents. It’s common to get disheartened on our journey to greatness when obstacles stand in our way. But, it’s important to venture out of your comfort zone, try things you’ve never done before, and create possibilities out of what only seem like impossibilities. Who knows, you may even find pleasure in things you’ve always hated…
- Have fun. At the end of the day, you’re way more than what people say about you. Focus on what makes you happy, not what makes everyone around you happy. Even if that means being the odd one out… God knows I was.
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